I was at a controlled airport recently waiting for a student to find the restroom. I thought I'd sit in the plane and wait, so I tuned the radio to ground control and listened. I managed to tune in at just the right time to hear the controller "urge" a pilot to follow directions. "59 November, where are you going??" He did manage to leave the F word out of his question, but it was implied in his tone. "I told you to taxi to 23 Right via Bravo and Xray. You're on a runway now. Stop immediately." The pilot replied, "Uhhh, this looked like a shortcut."
The controller was incredulous. "A shortcut? Don't take shortcuts on my taxiways!" He then gave the pilot progressives back to the active runway. Lesson: When a ground controller gives you a clearance to a runway, he'll also give you specific directions to get there. Read them back and follow them. If he says to taxi to the runway via Alpha and Delta, for gosh sakes taxi to the runway via Alpha and Delta. Don't blaze your own trail. If you get lost, ask for "progressives," that is, step by step instructions.
That little episode got me thinking of other things that drive the ground guys (and gals) nuts. It reminded me of another conversation I heard on the frequency just a couple weeks earlier:
Pilot: "Executive Ground, 4487 Echo."
Ground: "4487 Echo, Executive Ground."
Pilot: "I'd like to taxi. 87 Echo."
Ground: "87 Echo, what is your position?"
Pilot: "Transient parking, 87 Echo."
Ground: "Do you have Information Tango?"
Pilot: "Yes, 87 Echo."
Ground: "87 Echo, say type aircraft."
Pilot: "Cessna 210, 87 Echo."
While the controller was playing 20 Questions with Joe Pilot, other pilots were no doubt waiting to get a word in edgewise. Joe P. should have done everybody a favor and planned what he wanted to say before he keyed the mike. Short and sweet, Joe, short and sweet. It would have been better for Joe to have said, "Executive Ground, Cessna 4487 Echo, transient parking with Delta." That way, the controller would have had all the info he needed to direct Joe to the runway with a minimum of fuss and bother. Since the pilot was flying a 210, he was probably not a student and should have known better. On the other hand, if Joe learned to fly at and operated mostly from uncontrolled fields, he may have never learned to do it right in the first place. Too bad. Radio procedures at controlled airports are really quite simple, but do require practice and a little forethought.
